NBC Offers Sneak Peek at New Rom Com That Goes From A TO Z

A new romantic comedy called A to Z will premiere on television in early October, but in the meantime, NBC is trying to generate some buzz by offering the first episode online.

A to Z stars Ben Feldman, who played the emotionally fragile Ginsberg on Mad Men, opposite Cristin Milioti, known for her Broadway performance in Once as well as for showing up as the titular mother in the last season of How I Met Your Mother.

In this one, he's A (or Andrew), a bit of a nebbish, a sweet guy who believes in fate and destiny and that sort of thing, even though he works for a dating website where they prefer people not find "the one" so they can charge them to find another one, while she is Z (or Zelda), a lawyer who is a bit more practical and cynical. But they're both nice and charming and fairly adorable, and it's easy to root for them in episode A (or "A Is for Acquaintances") where we see them meet and spar a bit over whether he really saw her from afar at a concert years ago. We're told right from the get-go that they will hit it off well enough to date for "eight months, three weeks, five days and one hour." But after that... Whether they get married or it's just Splitsville, we'll have to get all the way through episode Z to find out. Or, as NBC frames the question, "Is it true love forever or just a detour in destiny?"

Both performers are up for it and if it was just the two of them, A to Z would be hitting on more cylinders. Narration from Katey Sagal is also pleasant enough. Unfortunately, the supporting characters are right out of Sitcom Central Casting, so they are each saddled with a slutty, annoying best friend -- hers is a not-very-bright party girl who's all about snaring men, played by Lenora Crichlow, while his is a slobbery, sloppy wannabe player always looking to score with the chicks, played by Henry Zebrowski. Andrew also has an uptight, super-controlling lady boss called Big Bird, played by Christina Kirk, just so all the stereotypes are covered.

Do I want to see what zany hijinks and K-Razy misunderstandings these second bananas will cause for the sparkly main couple? No, actually, I don't. Which is a shame, because Feldman and Milioti are about as cute as it gets. And after he maimed himself and got sent off to the psych ward on Mad Men and she got bumped off on HIMYM, they both deserve to play solid, compelling characters who stick around for awhile. And have better friends.

I suppose I can hope that the main premise -- what will the letters of the alphabet reveal for Andrew and Zelda at the end of their 8:3:5:1 term? -- is intriguing enough to keep me around. And that somebody decides to replace the supporting players.

A to Z premieres on NBC on October 2. In the meantime, you can check out the first episode here to see if it's your kind of thing.

Carrie Underwood Goes Live in SOUND OF MUSIC on NBC December 5

Carrie Underwood and her live version of Rodgers and Hammerstein's The Sound of Music will come twirling to your television at 7 pm (8 Eastern) on Thursday, December 5. There's been lots of talk about this particular production, with speculation on whether Underwood will be able to pull off the songs as written, whether she can act, whether it is sacrilege for NBC to try to redo the Julie Andrews movie from 1963, and whether the fact that this is live makes it special and fantastic and worthy all by itself.

My guesses? She won't, she can't, no and no again.

She definitely isn't singing the songs as written -- they're set down for her since her voice is lower than Julie Andrews, who famously played Maria in the film, or Mary Martin, Rebecca Luker or Laura Benanti, who have played Maria on Broadway -- and from the trailers and the video out so far of her vocal performance, she doesn't know what to do to act her way through a song, either. You can listen to her versions of "The Sound of Music,"  "My Favorite Things," "Do Re Mi," and "The Lonely Goatherd" on Youtube, and that should tell the story right there. Listen to the difference between Underwood and multi-Tony Award winner Audra McDonald on "Favorite Things." The energy, the spark, the charisma... It's all there in McDonald's portion of the song, while Underwood sounds careful, tentative and dull. Underwood does bring a really yodelly yodel sound to "Lonely Goatherd," which is kind of fun. And maybe she will relax and reflect more personality when she performs these pieces live. These are from the soundtrack (or "studio recording"), which is already available on Amazon and iTunes.

Whether she can act or sing as Maria won't matter to her millions of fans, of course, and stunt casting on Broadway has already happened so many times that nobody really cares anymore if some star from another universe tries to take on a role, classic or otherwise, even if he or she isn't right for it. Brooke Shields and a thousand other people in Grease come to mind, as do Melanie Griffith and Jerry Springer in Chicago, Julia Roberts in Three Days of Rain and Haley Joel Osment in American Buffalo. It's about butts in seats in those cases, and about viewers and ratings in this one.

I don't think it's a travesty or disrespectful to Julie Andrews or the movie version, either. At the time the film was made, I feel certain at least a few people were complaining that it was a travesty and disrespectful to Mary Martin, the stage star who always got overlooked when it came time to make movies of her Broadway triumphs. But then, Julie Andrews got replaced by Vanessa Redgrave, a wonderful actress who was certainly not known for her singing, for the film version of Camelot, and by Audrey Hepburn, who was lovely but really not a singer, either, in My Fair Lady, so Andrews had some grievances of her own. I can't say I like the Swiss Miss get-up Underwood is wearing in the posters -- Maria has usually been more of a plain girl, as you can see by what Andrews has on in the DVD cover image shown here -- or the vapid and vacant look on her face, which brings to mind Steve Carrell in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. But I wouldn't be surprised if the Heidi outfit and the blank face were part of an effort to make Carrie look her prettiest for fans who expect their country singers to be glitzy and sparkly, and maybe even to give her 30-year-old self a more youthful glow. Maria is supposed to be 18, after all.

But, no, this isn't a gift to the entertainment world by bringing back live TV.  We have Saturday Night Live and a host of sporting events, which often include halftime entertainment, as well as a lot of singing competitions. Aside from the musicals and operas we get to see on PBS's Great Performances, Britain's National Theater and Globe offer live shows on screens around the world, and there are filmed versions of all sorts of live shows these days, from Neil Patrick Harris in Company to the West End Merrily We Roll Along and David Tennant and Catherine Tate in Much Ado About Nothing. Plus I've seen a few of the old live musicals, and the quality wasn't great enough to make me nostalgic for more like them. This Sound of Music won't look like those classic cases of filming a live musical for TV, anyway, since they will be using multiple soundstages to give a more upscale look to the sets and scenery.

On the plus side, they have stuffed the cast with real Broadway stars who can elevate their supporting roles, like McDonald as the Abbess (inexplicably singing "My Favorite Things"), Laura Benanti as the Countess and Christian Borle as Max. The Broadway fans who might otherwise eschew a Carrie Underwood vehicle may tune in to see and hear McDonald, Benanti and Borle. And a song called "How Can Love Survive," sung on stage in 1959 and 1998 but not in the movie, will be back in this new version to give Benanti and Borle more to do. That's excellent news.

I suppose there is also an argument that this enterprise will acquaint a new generation of pop and/or contry music fans with Broadway, in the same way that sticking any number of American Idol alumni into shows like Grease, Hair, Rent and Rock of Ages was supposed to bridge that gap. Will it work? Will Carrie's fans flock to the TKTS booth to plunk down cash for new musicals like The Bridges of Madison County or A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder or another Rodgers and Hammerstein choice like the current Cinderella revival? Or perhaps create a resurgence in musical events on television, with a Kinky Boots performance broadcast live this week and A Night with Janis Joplin the next? I'm thinking that depends on the ratings, the enthusiasm of advertisers, and the overall cost, as well as the vehicle itself and whether more stars like Carrie Underwood are game.

Stay tuned. We'll all know more after Thursday!

TV's Dead List: IRONSIDE, LUCKY 7, WE ARE MEN, WELCOME TO THE FAMILY

ABC's Lucky 7, a limp drama about a group of lottery winners, was the first to get the ax. And then CBS yanked We Are Men, a sad show that featured interesting actors like Tony Shalhoub and Kal Penn doing absolutely nothing interesting. As bets swirled about which show would go over the cliff into TV oblivion next, NBC announced it was canning one cop drama in Ironside and one sitcom in Welcome to the Family.

Something for everyone! Ironside was one of those strange revivals/remakes that pop up from time to time, as somebody inexplicably decides it's time to dig up an old show nobody really misses. I mean, my mom really liked the first Ironside -- she had a thing for Raymond Burr -- but I haven't heard anybody else mention that show since... Well, since it was canceled in 1975. Blair Underwood represented a new take on the old premise of a veteran cop injured by a sniper who leaves the force, acquires a wheelchair and puts together a special team to solve crimes. Underwood is younger and more handsome than Burr was when he played Ironside, not that viewers seemed to care, since they really didn't tune in to find out. And Ironside is off NBC's Wednesday lineup, replaced by a Chicago Fire spinoff called Chicago P.D.

There are so many new family sitcoms this season it's understandable that something like Welcome to the Family got lost in the shuffle. Welcome to the Family had an appealing cast, with Mike O'Malley (Kurt's dad on Glee), complete with the usual baseball cap, Mary McCormack (In Plain Sight), Justina Machado (Six Feet Under) and Ricardo Chavira (Desperate Housewives) as mismatched in-laws. But it wasn't enough to elevate this warmed-over version of Abie's Irish Rose.

So far, no cancellations from Fox or the CW, but Fox has announced a full-season pickup for its hapless cop comedy Brooklyn Nine-Nine and a second 13-episode season for Sleepy Hollow, the supernatural drama that mixes Armageddon with Washington Irving's Headless Horseman. Okay, it actually ignores Washington Irving's Headless Horseman, going full-on Armageddon. Demons! Witches! Blood! Beheadings! Let's just say that this Sleepy Hollow feels much more like a remake of Highlander than anything to do with Irving or his Ichabod Crane. But it's been popular so far, and it'll be around for at least 13 more episodes next year.

Over at ABC, they've ordered a full season of the spy/superhero adventure Marvel's Agents of SHIELD, and CBS has done the same for The Crazy Ones, the Robin Williams ad agency sitcom, as well as Mom, an unfunny mess with Allison Janney as the sassy, trashy mom of a sassy, trashy daughter played by Anna Pharis, and The Millers, an even less funny mess that completely wastes the talents of Beau Bridges and Margo Martindale as the sassy, trashy parents of Will Arnett.

NBC has just one full-season order so far with The Blacklist, a James Spader vehicle about international crime and corruption that isn't afraid to get down and dirty. Spader stars as a megacriminal who turns himself in to work with the FBI -- or at least one pretty young FBI agent played by Megan Boone -- to take down the worst bad guys on the planet. I was on the edge of my seat during the pilot, which was certainly gripping and not afraid to put a child in jeopardy or torture its characters. But I'm afraid I'm not the right viewer for all that gore. Still, The Blacklist has clicked with viewers, and NBC has extended its order for a full season. And if somebody wants to clue me in on what the scoop really is on Elizabeth's husband when that's revealed well, I am curious, I admit.

Reboot REMINGTON STEELE? Heaven Forfend.

It's no secret that Remington Steele, the con man/private eye show from MTM in the 80s, is one of my all-time favorite TV shows. You ask and I'll say Remington Steele and Lou Grant, top two, all-time. I also admit that I was hooked on Remington Steele right from the beginning. Its premise was perfect for me, taking off when a smart girl named Laura Holt invented a boss, a man named Remington Steele, to front for her detective agency because clients didn't take her seriously as a female PI. And then a dashing con man/thief/movie fan took over the role -- against her protests -- because having an identity was useful for him. He was charming and looked good in photo opportunities, and she was capable, practical and sharp. I don't think we ever did find out what his real name was, but the two played cat and mouse, or maybe TV versions of Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn.

Remington Steele launched the career of Pierce Brosnan, who played Steele with elegance and charisma, and carved out a niche for Stephanie Zimbalist, who gave Laura Holt conviction and intelligence, something in short supply among the big-haired bimbos on the small screen in the 80s. It also fueled my romance writing career, which began as the TV series neared its end. I didn't much like how they finished up the show, so I wrote my own sardonic heroes who fell for uptight smart girls, and put them in the plots I wanted, attempting to achieve that same kind of fizzy, funny, romantic tone.

I can lament all I want that Remington Steele went out on a lame note, but that doesn't mean I'm looking for a replacement. And if I were, I could've lined up behind White Collar, Hustle, Leverage or something else in that vein. You know, gorgeous guy, mysterious past, scams and thievery and heists.

But now comes the news that NBC is going for Remington Steele, the Next Generation. No, that isn't the real name. It's the idea, though, as Deadline reports that NBC has optioned the rights to a new version of Remington Steele, not an hour-long mystery/suspense show, but a half-hour comedy centered on the progeny of Remington and Laura, one Olivia Holt, who reopens the old agency and gets herself involved in "the same hilarious, action-packed, romantic entanglements of her parents."

Sounds like... A really bad idea. It's not like you can go nab Natalie Portman or Michele Dockery, someone who looks like she could've sprung from the loins of Pierce Brosnan and Stephanie Zimbalist and displays a modicum of brain power. I'm just afraid this "hilarious, action-packed" half-hour comedy would look more like 2 Broke Girls or Super Fun Night than the Mary Tyler Moores and Bob Newharts and Parks and Recreations of the world. How do you set up and solve a mystery in a thirty minutes, including keeping a romance alive and adding enough jokes for the promised hilarity? Will it feel like Scooby Doo? And how will they explain where Remington and Laura are now? I can't imagine Pierce Brosnan making a guest appearance, although I suppose Stephanie Zimbalist might be willing to show up. If that's the case, will they trash the romance and paint Steele as a ne'er-do-well, a fly-by-night who dumped his wife and kid (which would explain why the daughter's last name is Holt) when he swanned off to steal the Five Nudes of Cairo one more time?

I'm skeptical. Let's just leave it at that. In the meantime, I'll stick with the Remington Steele DVDs.

New Shows: Michael J.Fox vs. Robin Williams in the Battle of the 80s Sitcom Stars

Michael J. Fox is one of those performers who rose above whatever vehicle he was in. I don't think either Family Ties or Spin City would've gone anywhere if they had cast, say, Matthew Broderick in the former or Charlie Sheen in the latter from the get-go. Whatever the show, Fox's intelligence and charm and especially his comic timing made it seem better than it was. But then Parkinson's Disease intruded. He still had America's heart, even if he wasn't doing television or movies anymore. That means great things were expected when he announced he was coming back to NBC with a sitcom built around him, acknowledging his Parkinson's and using it as part of the main character in The Michael J. Fox Show.

Contrast that with Robin Williams, who made his mark on TV as Mork of Mork and Mindy fame, and then went on to big, important movie roles where he was in turn lovable, crazy or really crazy. See: The Dead Poets Society, Mrs. Doubtfire, Good Will Hunting and The Birdcage for warm-and-fuzzy Williams, and The Fisher King, One Hour Photo and Insomnia for the nuts and psychopaths. I'm not sure where to put Popeye, except to note that he was terrific in it, and I totally believed him as a serious actor after that one.

But Williams, too, had off-screen problems, mostly centered around substance abuse and just how out-of-control his comedy stylings could get when he was on a roll. The word "manic" comes to mind. Yes, Williams has always been funny, but sometimes it's not that great to be identified with "crazy" as a matter of course. His new show on CBS isn't backing away from that, however, going with The Crazy Ones as a title.

Both shows are on Thursday night, and last week, they both held the 8 pm (Central) slot. The Michael J. Fox Show came in with a slightly better critical reception than The Crazy Ones, but The Crazy Ones had a better lead-in with The Big Bang Theory and its boffo ratings than MJF got with back-to-back episodes of Parks and Recreation, a much superior show that has much inferior ratings.

So whose comedy emerged supreme? For my money, it's The Crazy Ones. I watched both episodes of The Michael J. Fox Show and the pilot for The Crazy Ones, and I'm surprised to say this, but I liked The Crazy Ones a lot better in terms of character and situation. It also trounced The Michael J. Fox Show in the ratings.

In The Michael J. Fox Show, our hero is a much-beloved news anchor who left his desk due to Parkinson's but has now decided to come back. In The Crazy Ones, our hero is the wackadoodle head of an ad agency who works with his daughter (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and a very attractive subordinate (Mad Men's James Wolk). Neither premise is exactly inspired, but neither is terrible, either.

In The MJF Show, Michael J. Fox is as capable as ever, and Betsy Brandt is strong as his wife. I could take or leave the children, Katie Finneran is annoying as Fox's character's narcissistic sister, and the other supporting characters seem to come from The Comedy Stock Character Handbook instead of a place of creativity or inspiration. Mostly, I don't think I respond all that well to family-based sitcoms anymore, and that's exactly where this show finds its center. Teens, toddlers, underachievers at school, playtime at the park, hijinks ensuing...

Over at Crazy, we're playing with the grown-ups and their job-based hijinks instead. As I watched, I decided that Williams was fine, Gellar seemed uncomfortable, and Wolk was adorable. Plus Kelly Clarkson guested in the pilot as herself, or a version of herself who didn't want to sing the McDonald's jingle unless they sexed it up, and she was a lot of fun. Williams' brand of insanity actually worked when played off Clarkson and Wolk. And I wouldn't underestimate the power of Wolk being adorable. So far, anyway, I'd tune in just to see him sing jingles and fool around with clients.

Next week, these two shows will not be in direct competition, as Sean Hayes' Sean Saves the World moves into the 8 o'clock slot and The Michael J. Fox Show airs at 8:30 on NBC, while The Crazy Ones stays at 8, followed by that old chestnut, Two and a Half Men.

We'll see how the ratings shake out for The Crazy Ones without that Big Bang lead-in, and for The Michael J. Fox Show when it's drafting Sean Hayes' fumes. But for now, anyway, 80s star Robin Williams is leading 80s star Michael J. Fox in the battle for my TV time.

Is Your Favorite Show Coming Back?

As we reach the end of the 2012-13 TV season, the networks have been busy pulling the plug on some shows and offering lifelines to others. If you're confused about what's coming back and what's not, here is a handy list. (And I hope your favorites are all safe in that long "renewed" list.)

CANCELLED/WRAPPED/BUH BYE

1600 Penn (NBC)

30 Rock (NBC)
666 Park Avenue (ABC)
90210 (CW)
Animal Practice (NBC)
Ben and Kate (Fox)
Body of Proof (ABC)
CSI: NY (CBS)
Cult (CW)
Deception (NBC)
Do No Harm (NBC)
Don’t Trust the B in Apt. 23 (ABC)

Emily Owens MD (CW)
Family Tools (ABC)
Fringe (Fox)
Go On (NBC)
Golden Boy (CBS)
Gossip Girl (CW)
Guys with Kids (NBC)
Happy Endings (ABC)
How to Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life) (ABC)
The Job (CBS)
Last Resort (ABC)
Made in Jersey (CBS)

Malibu Country (ABC)
Mob Doctor (Fox)
Mobbed (Fox)
The New Normal (NBC)
The Office (NBC)
Partners (CBS)
Private Practice (ABC)
Ready for Love (NBC)
Red Widow (ABC)
Rock Center with Brian Williams (NBC)
Rules of Engagement (CBS)
Smash (NBC)
Touch (Fox)
Up All Night (NBC)
Vegas (CBS)
Whitney (NBC)
Zero Hour (ABC)

RENEWED/SAVED/BACK FOR MORE

2 Broke Girls (CBS)
The Amazing Race (CBS)

American Dad (Fox)
American Idol (Fox)
America's Next Top Model (CW)
Arrow (CW)
The Bachelor (and the Bachelorette) (ABC)
Beauty and the Beast (CW)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
The Biggest Loser (NBC)
Blue Bloods (CBS)
Bob's Burgers (Fox)
Bones (Fox)
The Carrie Diaries (CW)
Castle (ABC)

Chicago Fire (NBC)
Community (NBC)
Criminal Minds (CBS)
CSI (CBS)
Dancing with the Stars (ABC)
Elementary (CBS)
Family Guy (Fox)
The Following (Fox)
Glee (Fox)
The Good Wife (CBS)
Grey's Anatomy (ABC)
Grimm (NBC)
Hart of Dixie (CW)

Hawaii Five-O (CBS)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Last Man Standing (ABC)
Law & Order SVU (NBC)
The Mentalist (CBS)
The Middle (ABC)
Mike & Molly* (CBS)
The Mindy Project (Fox)
Modern Family (ABC)
Nashville (ABC)
NCIS (CBS)
NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)
The Neighbors (ABC)
New Girl (Fox)
Nikita* (CW)
Once Upon a Time (ABC)
Parenthood (NBC)
Parks and Recreation (NBC)

Shark Tank (ABC)
Person of Interest (CBS)
Raising Hope (Fox)
Revenge (ABC)
Revolution (NBC)
Scandal (ABC)
The Simpsons (Fox)
Suburgatory (ABC)
Supernatural (CW)
Survivor (CBS)
Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Undercover Boss (CBS)
The Vampire Diaries (CW)
The Voice (NBC)
The X Factor (Fox)

Note that Fox's "The Cleveland Show" is not listed on their Fall 2013 schedule, but it hasn't been officially canceled, either. Others neither here nor there at the moment: "Betty White's Off Their Rockers," "Celebrity Apprentice," "Hannibal" and "Fashion Star," all on NBC.

*"Mike and Molly" has been renewed but won't be back till mid-season, while "Nikita" has been renewed just to come back with six episodes mid-season and finish off the show's story.

Will a Saturday Night Slot Be the Swan Song for SMASH?

I wanted Smash to work. I really did. I love Broadway and its stars and the notion of a backstage Broadway musical on television sounds like heaven to me.

But it didn't go well during the first season with creator Theresa Rebeck's at the helm as producer. Everybody and his grandmother -- and I! -- offered suggestions on how to fix Smash's sinking musical ship once Rebeck was given the heave-ho and Josh Saffran (from Gossip Girl) took over. Yes, there were multiple issues. Plots were set up and then abandoned, the marital woes of at least two of the characters (lyricist Julia, played by Debra Messing, and producer Eileen, played by Anjelica Huston) were tiresome, Messing's wardrobe was laughable, there were too many stray men running around, and Marilyn Monroe was a lame idea for a musical, anyway, as evidenced by the existing Marilyn musical that only ran for 17 performances.

But all of that was small beans compared to the huge problem at the core of Smash as written and produced. In a cast full of Broadway stars, somebody -- maybe Rebeck, maybe exec producer Steven Spielberg, maybe Simon Cowell for all I know -- decided to build the show around the character of Karen, as played by American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee. Karen was a dewy-eyed newcomer from Iowa, living off her rich, sweet, handsome boyfriend, walking into auditions and knocking all the bigwigs off their pins. "She's fantastic!" they told us. "She's a star!" "She captures Marilyn!"

And when I say "they told us," I mean exactly that. Every week, the scripts told us that Karen was the biggest thing to hit Broadway since Mary Martin, that she was the pinnacle, the be-all, the end-all, the megawatt star to end all stars. But what did they show us? As personified by McPhee, we saw a Karen who was a whiny, listless little nothing, a pouter, a moper, someone who expected stardom to land in her lap with no work or commitment whatsoever. I don't care how many times you tell me someone is fabulous if I can see with my own eyes she ain't.

That problem was only exacerbated by the competition. When Smash began, there was supposedly a competition for the role of Marilyn between McPhee's Karen, the newcomer, and Megan Hilty's Ivy, a more experienced Broadway performer desperate to break out of the chorus. Hilty, and by extension Ivy, really was as magical as Karen was not. Hilty's Ivy could sing. She could act. She could project Marilynesque qualities. She had "it" written all over her. And the more the powers behind Smash tried to tell us it wasn't so, that up was down, that in was out, that Karen was perfection while Ivy was a loser, the more Smash looked like a bust.

In order to retool Smash for its second season, Saffran (or somebody above or below him on the foodchain) fired a few extraneous men, ditched Julia's scarves of disrepute, and hired more bona fide Broadway folks. That included Jeremy Jordan, fresh off the successful Newsies, and Krysta Rodriguez, who'd created the role of Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family musical, as well as offering short runs to TV star Sean Hayes and another American Idol alum, Oscar and Grammy winner Jennifer Hudson.

You will not be surprised to hear that Jordan, Rodriguez and Hudson were added to prop up Karen as a new love interest, roommate and mentor, respectively. Meanwhile Hayes is playing Ivy's co-star in a musical based on Dangerous Liaisons. He's a TV star who thinks potty jokes are the height of show biz excellence. He's a Stooge, a Jerry Lewis, an Adam Sandler, if any of those guys were stupid enough to bring that shtik to a Broadway musical. Of course Ivy is sharing a show with him.

Karen (who is perfectly perfect in every way, in case you didn't get the message) is playing saviour and goddess to a songwriting duo trying to get their musical off the ground and continuing to blow away all the Broadway powers-that-be, while Ivy is trying to survive a show opposite fart jokes. The handwriting is on the wall: Marilyn will be a mess again, Karen will bail in favor of the real, cool, authentic musical her new boyfriend is writing, and it will come down to Karen vs. Ivy for the Best Actress Tony, just like All About Eve. Hmmm... I wonder who will win the Tony? Maybe Karen? Or Karen. I suppose there's a chance Karen could win. No, definitely Karen.

So, as these new plot developments creaked along, the show continued its campaign to proclaim Karen as the second coming. And the ratings were terrible. There was some noise that NBC didn't care about the sad ratings because they were making money off the music from the show, but seriously... How many people buy music from a show they're not watching?

So when the news came last week that NBC had decided to move the show to Saturday, thereby sounding its death knell for all intents and purposes, no one should've been surprised. Well, maybe about the Saturday part. If Friday has been the Siberia of the TV landscape, the place where unwanted shows go to die, then Saturday has been Antarctica. It's the place of reruns and repurposing, of Cops, Pawn Stars and American Ninjas. I can't remember the last time I looked for original programming during Saturday primetime.

Although the next three episodes will air in the familiar Tuesday night slot, NBC will burn off the rest of its new Smash episodes on Saturdays at 9 Central time starting April 6. Note that Episode 17, which is set at the Tony Awards (told you so about that plot inevitability -- bet on Karen to walk away with the trophy while Ivy drowns in her tears) will be the series finale. It's scheduled for May 25.

Show runner Safran told TVLine he was "saddened" and "surprised" about the move to the basement of NBC's schedule. Let that be a lesson to the arrogant, the muckety mucks, the guys at the top of TV's heap. You can't ignore complaints raining down on your head forever if you want your show to stay alive. And seriously, guys. When a hundred critics tell you that you've made a mistake in casting your lead, CHANGE YOUR MINDS. Do something. Fix it. I fear that Broadway is now as dead as Smash when it comes to material for television shows. And how stupid is that? Broadway shouldn't have to take the rap for the dunderheaded moves behind the scenes of Smash.

NBC's ANIMAL PRACTICE Is Dunzo

You might've thought NBC had high hopes for "Animal Practice," a sitcom that premiered in August and got a primo slot during the Olympic closing ceremonies. Yes, you read that right. It wasn't broadcast after the big Olympic blowout. It was during.

That raised a few eyebrows at the time, and it doesn't seem to have endeared anybody to "Animal Practice," which is the first sitcom of the new season to get the hook. (The CBS drama "Made in Jersey" was the first show overall to get a pink slip from the Fall '12 class.)

"Animal Practice" was billed as a sort of "House" with animals, as cranky vet George Coleman, played by Justin Kirk, preferred the company of his furry and feathered patients to people. His assistant, seen in the image above, was a Capuchin monkey.

If that sounds silly to you, it sounded wrong wrong wrong to animal welfare organizations like PETA and Animal Defenders, who'd protested the treatment of that monkey by NBC.

It's doubtful NBC was concerned by any of those protests, although they had to be concerned by its anemic ratings. Last Wednesday's episode eked out 3.8 million viewers and a 1.0 share of the audience between 18 and 49. That's down more than 9% from the previous week in that demographic.

Moral of the story? Don't interrupt Olympic Ceremonies, opening or closing, and don't try to launch mediocre product in high-profile slots. Oh, and don't mess with monkeys.

Comedy Tonight (Last Night) on NBC -- The Office and Parks & Rec Returned

The Office and Parks and Recreation are back! NBC's Thursday night comedy line-up has been its calling card for a good, long while and, for the most part, I have been on-board with that. Cheers, The Cosby Show, Seinfeld, Family Ties, Friends, Frasier... Some very good stuff there.

More recently, we've had Community, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock and The Office. They haven't enjoyed the boffo ratings of Cosby and Seinfeld before them, but they've made me happy, anyway.

Even so, I was severely disappointed with The Office last season, with my major reactions being "All this Andy humiliation is appalling," "OMG Robert California is a terrible character" and "OMG Nellie is terrible character." So I tuned in last night with some trepidation. Can this sinking ship be righted?

Mindy Kaling and B. J. Novak have left the building, and their characters' departures were dealt with right off the top in the season premiere episode, which aired last night. That prologue/back story/catch-up was funny and disposed of both Kelly Kapoor and Ryan the Former Intern as neatly as possible.

The other big development was that two new people have been added. One is schlubby and wears glasses and has been dubbed Dwight, Jr. by his colleagues, while the other is bright and good-looking and serves as The New Jim. Neither Dwight (Rainn Wilson) nor Jim (John Krasinski) appreciated that, and a big chunk of the episode was devoted to how they handled the comparisons as well as feeling old and over the hill in general. We also found out that Dwight is not the father of Angela's baby, and that Angela's husband may be having some kind of thing on the side with Oscar (Oscar Nunez). Oscar also took a car that had belonged to Angela (Angela Kinsey) after rigorous adoption interviews conducted at the office.

The "Dwight and Jim Feel Old" section overlapped Andy's plot, which involves him hating on Nellie, who is still hanging around for inexplicable reasons. Now, instead of "Humiliate Andy" as the game du jour, we're getting "Get Nellie." It's not anymore fun than the first one.

Overall, I found the episode pretty much as cringeworthy as last season, although Creed was pretty funny summing things up in his usual clueless way. GRADE: D for DOPEY and DISMAL

Parks and Recreation is a better show all around, and unsurprisingly, it had a better season premiere, too. It dealt with reunions, as Leslie (Amy Poehler) and Andy (Chris Pratt) went to Washington DC to see their romantic partners, Ben (Adam Scott), now working on a congressman campaign, and April (Aubrey Plaza), who went with Ben as his intern.

The reunions were sweet and funny, and sad, too, as everybody figured out that long-distance relationships are tough to keep up. Leslie also realized how small and unimportant her (previously) exciting job on the town council is when compared to Ben's new high-powered gig, as shown by cameos from Senators Barbara Boxer, Olympia Snowe and John McCain, who were all fun and fizzy in their brief roles. So far, Leslie and Ben are working hard to stay together (even if it's on Skype) but we know it's rough sledding ahead.

Meanwhile, back in Pawnee, Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) didn't agree with how the usual employee-appreciation BBQ should go, and the unappealing Ann-Tom match-up was officially declared over, even though they felt the need to pretend they were still into each other. I totally didn't get that last part, I hate them together, and I hope they can split up and play scenes with other people now.

For me, the A (Leslie Goes to Washington), B (Ron Makes a Hash of the Picnic) and C (Andy Is a Goof) stories all worked, with only that slacker about Ann (Rashida Jones) and Tom (Aziz Ansari) leaving me cold. GRADE: A for AWESOME

Can't wait to see how Leslie and Ben survive their troubles. Probably won't waste any time on how they write off Dwight or how the new guys fit in The Office.

New on TV: Mob Doctor and Revolution

Last night, two new fall shows bowed, with "The Mob Doctor," starring Jordana Spiro as a tough surgeon who can't get rid of family ties to the mob, and "Revolution," the one where electricity (and apparently fossil fuels?) have been wiped from the world. Oddly, both showed off Chicago sets last night, with our "Mob Doctor" tied to Bridgeport on the South Side and "Revolution" offering the Loop partially under water and Future World Wrigley Field (where we see that the Cubs won the World Series in 2012, which is probably reason enough for the world to get zapped.)

"The Mob Doctor" is on Fox, and it is, I think, a strange little show. Spiro is a bit more world-weary than your normal TV doc, and her issues trying to save patients, spar with an unethical superior at the hospital, and keep her brother, the one whose gambling debts got her into this mess, from getting rubbed out by the mob, are certainly a unique mix. In last night's premiere, she bucked the system at the hospital, refused to kill a prosecution witness in the operating room to appease the thug threatening her brother, and got a favor from a more powerful crime boss to get rid of that threat entirely. Unfortunately, that put her into even hotter water with the new overlord. The show has a gritty, no-nonsense look and feel to it, and there was even a chase scene under the L tracks in the premiere.

I don't know Spiro, who is apparently from "My Boys" and "Dexter," but she was fine, and she has an excellent supporting cast with Zeljko Ivanek as a hospital administrator on her side, Zach Gilford ("Saturday Night Lights") as her love interest, and William Forsythe as the Big Bad who helped her out, with a large price tag attached.

Although I did stay tuned for the whole hour, I can't say I was enthralled or compelled enough to go back. Honestly, the premise seems clunky and forced, and I'm not sure it's strong enough for episode after episode of the same hospital/crime mashup.

"The Mob Doctor" airs at 8 pm Central Monday nights on Fox.

And then there's "Revolution." Last year's "Terra Nova," about a family trying to survive a dystopic future world, didn't work out very well, but this season's "Revolution," about a family (or at least a couple of pieces of a family) trying to survive a dystopic future world, has a bit more "Hunger Games" in the mix, with a young woman battling mysterious militia forces as she travels across a new, powerless America to try to find and free her captured brother.

Daniella Alonso is properly smart and feisty as the girl with the crossbow, and she is backed up by Billy Burke as her uncle, someone she hadn't seen in 15 years, but who is now on her team as they look for her little bro. Her life is further complicated by an attraction to a hunky guy who seems to be on the wrong team, even though he's saved her life a couple of times already.

The great actor in the background on "Revolution" is the eminently watchable Giancarlo Esposito, who never puts a dramatic foot wrong.

It's fun to see the famous Chicago Theatre sign distressed and wet, and the Cubs in-joke is amusing. And the sword fight in the pilot was quite nicely done. But how long can they keep Nora and Uncle Miles moving, not finding Danny, but somehow staying away from Captain Neville and his evil minions and their superior firepower?

I confess I am also not clear on the underlying mythology of what exactly does and doesn't work in this "Revolution" world. Guns, crossbows, engines, dams? Why and how do these work or not work under the No Power rules?

"Revolution" looks a lot spiffier than "The Mob Doctor," with a pilot episode directed by Jon Favreau, but even so, it's not really the kind of thing I'm likely to keep watching. "Revolution" takes the 9 pm slot on Mondays on NBC.

Almost Here: New Fall Shows on TV

It doesn't feel like fall just yet, but that's not stopping the networks from launching their new fall shows. Next week!

NBC has already sneaked the premieres of two new shows: the Matthew Perry vehicle "Go On," about a support group where the lovely Laura Benanti helps stuck-in-a-rut folks (including Perry's character) move past their blocks, and "The New Normal," a sitcom from "Glee" creator Ryan Murphy, about a gay couple and the surrogate who's having a baby for them. Justin Bartha ("The Hangover") and Andrew Rannells ("The Book of Mormon") play the couple, with Georgia King as the single mom who's having their baby, Bebe Wood as her precocious daughter, and Ellen Barkin as her Type A, meddling mother. And, no, the show is not set in Normal, Illinois, which seems like a no-brainer. We are the new Normal, people!

Both those shows will be bowing on September 11th, with "Go On" at 8  and "New Normal" at 8:30 Central. If you'd like to see the "Go On" pilot now, without waiting till Tuesday, it's available on the NBC site here, while video for "New Normal," including its pilot, are here.

Next up is a sneak peek of "Guys with Kids" at 9 pm on the 12th on NBC. It's a show about, you guessed it, guys with kids, starring Anthony Anderson, Jesse Bradford and Zach Cregger as those guys. Anderson is a stay-at-home dad, Bradford is a single dad, and Cregger is a regular old dad. They call him "working dad" in the video preview. Jimmy Fallon exec-produced "Guys with Kids," and he says it's a show "about cool dads." Well, all righty then.

September 17th brings us "The Mob Doctor," involving a surgeon moonlighting for the mob, where there is apparently a great need for surgery on the sly, at 8 pm Central on Fox, and "Revolution," a dystopic futuristic drama about a world completely without power, at 9 on NBC.

"Partners" starts on September 24 at 7:30 pm on CBS, right after "How I Met Your Mother." The partners in the title are a pair of BFFs (Michael Urie and David Krumholtz) conflicted by Friend #1's boyfriend and Friend #2's girlfriend. It looks... Squicky. But you can judge for yourself by watching the preview video here.

Fox premieres "Ben and Kate" and "The Mindy Project" on Tuesday the 25th.

In "Ben and Kate," Nate Faxon is Ben, while Dakota Johnson (the daughter of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith) is Kate. They're a mismatched brother and sister; she's practical and smart, while he's a goofball dreamer. What a crazy pair! Don't be surprised if a hot dog makes him lose control while she's all about Crêpes Suzette. Tune in Tuesday the 25th at 7:30 Central.

And then there's "The Mindy Project" at 8:30, after "New Girl." "The Mindy Project" stars Mindy Kaling, famous for being Kelly Kapoor (and writing and producing) on "The Office." It's a highly anticipated show, which is probably why it gets that post-"New Girl" slot. You'll need to buy Kaling as a doctor -- an OB/GYN -- who is as quirky and adorable as Zoey Deschanel. I'm not incredibly thrilled by this idea, but the "New Girl" fans may like it.

It's hard to believe there's room for yet another show with "Vegas" in the title, but CBS is rolling one out at 9 pm Central on the 25th. This new "Vegas" features Dennis Quaid and Michael Chiklis and is inspired by the true story of a cowboy turned sheriff battling the mob in Las Vegas in the 60s. It's not exactly what you would call high concept. But who knows? Maybe viewers are ready to turn back the clock to see Las Vegas, Old Style. You can see a video preview here.

The next night, "Animal Practice," which sort of looks like "House" with pets (Justin Kirk plays a veterinarian who likes animals but hates people) is followed by "Guys with Kids" (see above) in its regular slot. Those two are back to back on NBC at 7 and 7:30 pm on September 26.

They'll be joined by "Neighbors" on ABC at 8:30 Central. "Neighbors" is eccentric, that's for sure, as a family of regular old people move into a gated community filled with aliens. Aliens from the Planet Zabrvon. Who exude green goo out their ears. Jami Gertz is the mom of the earth family. I love Jami Gertz. But this sounds terrible. Sorry, Jami.

Thursday the 27th brings us "Last Resort" at 7 on ABC, with Andre Braugher as the captain of a submarine and Scott Speedman as his second-in-command. After some nuclear weapon shenanigans, the sub and its crew find themselves marooned on an island. Think "Gilligan's Island" meets "The Hunt for Red October."

That's followed by the newest iteration of Sherlock Holmes in "Elementary," this time with Jonny Lee Miller as the sleuth and Lucy Liu as his Dr. Watson. They're living and solving crimes in contemporary New York. Previews look very good, and I think I will be tuning in to see how it goes Thursday, September 27 at 9 pm Central.

"Made in Jersey" pops up on CBS in the No Man's Land known as Friday, with its premiere on the 28th at 8 Central. The plot sounds vaguely like "Legally Blonde" for brunettes, as a Jersey Girl tries to hold her own against snooty colleagues at a law firm in Manhattan. "Legally Blonde" meets "Working Girl," maybe.

ABC adds yet another intriguing show to an already packed Sunday, offering "666 Park Avenue," set in a spooky apartment building on New York's Upper East Side. Terry O'Quinn ("Lost") and Vanessa Williams ("Desperate Housewives" and "Ugly Betty") are the slinky, dark and dangerous owners of the place, while Dave Annable ("Brothers and Sisters") and Rachael Taylor ("Grey's Anatomy") are the sweet young couple who move in to be the new building managers. So... "Rosemary's Baby"? And a little "Dark Shadows"? It airs right after "Revenge" on ABC at 9 pm on Sundays.

That's it for new series in September, but there are also a ton of returning shows, plus, of course, October! Whew. It's not easy keeping up with TV, is it?

More on "Smash": Sean Hayes and Sheryl Lee Ralph Join the Fray

NBC's "Smash," the drama series about putting on a Broadway show, will look decidedly different when it comes back next winter. When we last saw Karen, the dull girl from Dullsville who is inexplicably loved by somebody behind "Smash," she had already won the role of Marilyn in "Bombshell," the show-within-the-show, so Season 1's search for a star was over. Thank goodness. What a mess that was.

Will "Marilyn" be dunzo when Season 2 begins, with everybody working on new things and putting that disaster behind them? I don't know, but I have my fingers crossed.

Personally, I'd like a multitude of plot and character changes to go along with all the cast and production team changes they've already announced. Not gonna get my hopes up, however, since the early word on Season 2 indicates there's still way too much focus on "Perfect Princess Karen, the Perfectest Princess Who Ever Perfected Princessing," instead of, you know, either firing Katharine McPhee and hiring somebody more interesting or redoing the character to make her less like wallpaper paste. Instead, they've hired a bunch of new people to orbit Karen's dim sun, and the NBC promo for its new season shows Jennifer Hudson, who will be joining the show for a few episodes as a Broadway star of some renown, offering sage advice to Perfect Princess Karen, who is wearing Swiss Miss braids and gazing vapidly into space.

Not a good way to pique my interest.

Still, there is other news that might be good. We've heard recently that Sean Hayes, an ISU grad with all kinds of TV, film and Broadway success on his resume, will also be doing a multi-episode arc on "Smash." Word is that he'll be playing a comedian taking on Broadway in a musical version of "Les Liaisons Dangereuses." Would Hayes be the sinister and sexy Valmont in this new show-within-a-show? It doesn't seem like the world's best match of actor to role, but then, it depends on whether it's a spoof or a serious take on "Liaisons." We also don't know if he'll be yet another character in Karen's circle, but the fact that he is bringing in a new show-within-the-show suggests maybe not, if she's still being Marilyn. And the mention of "Liaisons: The Musical!" at least means there's something to take focus off the ghastly "Bombshell."

The other newly announced guest star is Sheryl Lee Ralph, who will be playing the mother of Veronica, Jennifer Hudson's character. Ralph has some pretty nifty credits of her own, including being the original Deena in "Dreamgirls" on Broadway. That gives her a fun connection to J-Hud, who famously won an Oscar as Effie in the movie version of the show. Ralph also appeared in the movie "Sister Act 2: Back to the Habit," which Vulture reports is supposed to be Jennifer Hudson's favorite movie of all time. And she's beautiful and talented, so a good match for Hudson. Will she be a barracuda of a mother, or have they already played that card with Bernadette Peters as Ivy's mum? Will she be fragile and clingy and create lots of messes her daughter has to clean up? That doesn't seem like Sheryl Lee Ralph. Maybe she'll be the life of the party who floats in and out and dazzles everybody, like the character Ralph played in "Thoroughly Modern Millie."

We haven't heard yet that Veronica will be important enough or have enough of a story to need a mother, but if she's there to do more than just reinforce the saintliness and wonder that is Karen, it will be a step in the right direction. And having a mom who presents conflict of any kind certainly doesn't connect her to Karen, the one with the sweet parental units back in Iowa.

And whether Hayes and Ralph are just more props for Karen, or they get to do something a lot more fun and satisfying, the best news is that cool stars with real Broadway chops keep getting added to the show. That can't be a bad thing!

On TV: My Faves Are Safe!

Although my TV watching has been spotty at best this season, I have kept up with a few things I've become attached to. So while "House" has dropped off my radar as it winds to a conclusion (love Hugh Laurie, love Robert Sean Leonard, will not watch them kill off Wilson as they wrap up the show 4-Eva) and I decided to quit "The Office" when it and new characters Robert California and Nellie somebody-or-other annoyed me beyond the point of redemption, I have found some new shows I like a lot. As it stands, as pretty much everything on TV pulls out all the stops for May sweeps and their season finales, I think all my faves have now been pronounced safe for new seasons. I will say a small "Hurray!" for that.

On ABC, a network I am still mad at for canceling my soaps (Oh, "One Life to Live," how I miss you!) they've taken a small step back into my good graces by giving me "Once Upon a Time," the show that throws fairytale characters like Rumpelstiltskin, Snow White and her Prince Charming (and even the Mad Hatter, which defies explanation, since "Alice in Wonderland" is not a fairytale) into a small town in Maine, most of them with no memory of their previous lives in magical realms. "Once Upon a Time" has been a big success for ABC on Sunday nights, so it's no surprised it's gotten the official pick-up for next season. Things have gotten good as the curse that trapped them all in Storybrooke, Maine, begins to crack, and I'm all primed for the Season 1 finale on Sunday.

I've also enjoyed "Happy Endings," in its sophomore season as a sort of "Friends" for the New Millennium with a married couple, a black guy and a gay guy. It's funnier to me than "Friends" ever was, it's set in Chicago, and I'm ever so glad it'll be back with new adventures for its sextet of friends. I'm also hoping that daffy Penny, played by Casey Wilson, gets a hot boyfriend next fall. Come ON!

"Scandal," an inside-politics show about a fixer who finds herself knee-deep in muddy waters (Presidential sex scandals! Lies! Rumors! Murder! Adultery! Wiretapping! Psychopathic staffers!) was less of a sure thing that either "Once Upon a Time" or "Happy Endings." Like, a lot less, given that its ratings have been nothing to write home about and it only got a seven-episode first season. But ABC has officially renewed it, too, meaning Kerry Washington (playing PR maven/lawyer Olivia Pope, whose name was referenced at least a hundred times in the pilot) and Tony Goldwyn (the Prez) can continue to heat up the small screen well into the forseeable future.

Way to go, ABC, for keeping these three around!

Over on NBC, home of several good, if seriously under-watched, comedies, I was definitely worried about my fave "Parks and Recreation," which is way too amazing a show to still be struggling in the ratings in its 4th season. Amy Poehler's adorable Leslie Knope just won her race for city council, her adorable boyfriend Ben, played by Adam Scott, has just accepted a position running a campaign in Washington DC (Let's hope he doesn't run into Olivia Pope or any of the criminals she hangs around with!), and Ron Swanson, U of I's own Nick Offerman, declined a promotion of his own. Cliffhangers, people! We need to find out what will happen to Leslie & Co. as they rock Pawnee, Indiana, in the fall. And now we will, with "Parks and Recreation" cleared for 22 episodes in Season 5. This is extremely good news, almost as good as Leslie beating doofus Bobby Newport (Paul Rudd) in that election. I hope we get to see more of the moronic Newport, though.. Rudd was great.

NBC's other Thursday comedy, the equally oddball and equally terrific "Community" has been picked up, too, although only for a 13-episode 4th season. "Community" continues to take chances with its format and storylines, and it deserves to be rewarded for that. So I'll take a 13-episode season if the alternative is no more crazy Community college antics from the world's weirdest (and longest-running) study group. They're never going to graduate, are they? Well, maybe Chevy Chase's character will graduate. Or get killed. Or something. Chase and creator Dan Harmon were feuding as recently as April, so it won't be a surprise if he isn't there when "Community" returns.

While looking over the renewal scorecards out there, I discovered that I don't watch anything on Fox, CBS or the CW. So whatever they're canceling or not canceling, I don't much care. My shows are safe. All is right with the world.

Note that the other shows I like -- including "Downton Abbey" on PBS, "Psych" on the USA Network, and "Leverage" on TBS -- aren't listed because their seasons and networks are different. As far as I know, all three of those will keep keeping on, with "Leverage" airing new episodes in July, "Psych" coming back with another 16-episode season later this year, and the third season of "Downton Abbey" expected to air in the US in January, 2013. I'm also mad for "Mad Men," which is in the middle of its 5th season now, with a 6th season in the works, presumably to air beginning in '13.

Smash Bash

I wasn't crazy about NBC's "Smash" when it premiered in February, as you may recall from a post I wrote about it then. I watched the first three episodes to see if it got any better, decided it was actually getting worse (that third episode was a killer, and not in a good way) and then abandoned it and its nonsensical plots and characters for the sake of my sanity. But then Bernadette Peters and Terrence Mann guested, and I was all, high wattage Broadway stars! How can I not give it another try?

The episode with Peters, where she played a huge Broadway star who also happens to be the demanding mother of the character of Ivy, played by Megan Hilty, wasn't as bad as Episode 3, but then, few things are. And Mann's role was quite small, but he was very amusing as a fairly crazy, hard-living rock star with a whole lot of money he was willing to invest in "Bombshell," the Broadway show inside the show that is supposed to be about the life of Marilyn Monroe.

We heard a few weeks ago that creator Theresa Rebeck, who is a well-regarded playwright as well as a TV producer and writer, would not be coming back as show runner for Season 2, replaced by Josh Safran, executive producer of "Gossip Girl." And now there's news that Rebeck is leaving the show altogether. Hmmm... Is this in response to critics and complainers, who think that "Smash" could and should be a lot more than it is, who don't understand how it's even possible to waste the talents of this many cool people or get this far off track?

Because of these developments, and also because a) I still have friends who are watching it in some sort of love-to-hate/hate-to-love relationship, b) the Tony nominations were announced this week, including a nod for Christian Borle, one of the three actors I have found myself enjoying in the episodes of "Smash" I've seen, and c) I wanted to judge for myself if there's a kernel of anything to be saved here in a second season without Rebeck, I gave it yet another chance and tuned in last Monday.

In this week's episode, "Bombshell" found itself in Boston preparing for its out-of-town tryout, with everyone on edge because of Tech Week (you'll certainly get used to hearing that phrase if you see the episode), romantic complications on every side, and an egotistical and immature movie star (played by Uma Thurman) brought in to take on the lead role of Marilyn, shoving aside both prior contenders. (Before the movie star, we had Ivy, the Broadway veteran who desperately wants to be a star, versus Karen, the sweet and simple ingenue from Nowheresville, right out of the Ruby Keeler playbook in "42nd Street.") This week, we got more betrayal, more eavesdropping, a few sexy encounters, and pretty much every subplot you've ever seen on a soap opera except maybe amnesia and an evil twin, although I have seen some commenters speculating that maybe the character of Derek, played by Jack Davenport, fulfills the evil twin thing because he seems to be at least two people given the whiplash way his character is written.

None of the plots reflect anything I know about Broadway, except for the bringing in of a star to make the producers happy. In fact, that one feels kind of meta with Katharine McPhee, who finished second on ratings juggernaut "American Idol" a few years ago and probably seemed like a sure thing to NBC when greenlighting this show. I can just see the meeting where some suit says, sure, it looks like fun, but we can't rely on these Broadway people no one has heard of in Middle America, so let's boost the star power, okay? And somebody on the production side says, well, we have Oscar-winner Angelica Huston and dishy Brit Jack Davenport and sitcom star Debra Messing. Isn't that enough? And the suit said, uh, no, we need someone with a proven Q score, someone like Britney or Miley or one of those Disney girls -- the Vanessas and Demis and Selenas -- or, wait, I know! There has to be some leftover pretty girl from "Idol"!

Which is exactly how we are led to believe that Uma Thurman's Rebecca Duvall was brought into the "Bombshell" mix and why, even though she can't sing or dance, doesn't even appear to be a very good actress, and is a royal pain at every turn, they can't get rid of her. But, see, this makes no sense, either. I thought that the episode with Terrence Mann showed Anjelica Huston burning her bridges with the money men who'd demanded a star like Rebecca and depending instead on Mann's rockstar Randy Cobra. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who would care who the star is. So why can't they boot out Rebecca, now that the bad producers are gone and Randy Cobra is bankrolling them?

That's really the least of the logical problems in "Smash," however. The real gorilla in the room is that Megan Hilty has been knocking it out of the park, she looks more like the real Marilyn, and it's pretty much impossible to take Katharine McPhee's Karen seriously as any kind of competition. That is the main thrust of every episode, and it just isn't working. At all.

So, yeah, still not feeling it.

I love that "Smash" is about Broadway. I love that it employs so many Broadway performers (including the afore-mentioned Borle, Hilty, Mann and Peters plus Becky Ann and Dylan Baker, Joshua Bergasse, Will Chase, Ann Harada, Brian d'Arcy James, Spencer Liff, Leslie Odom Jr., Condola Rashad, Phillip Spaeth, Lewis J. Stadlen, Henry Stram, Tony Yazbeck... And probably ten more people I didn't catch popping up in small roles all over the place.)

I've now discovered that Megan Hilty, someone I wasn't familiar with, is ridiculously talented and can turn even the worst material into gold, that Jack Davenport is just as hot as I remembered from his movies, and that Christian Borle has such a terrific voice and presence it's really a shame they cast him as the songwriter who hardly ever sings. Even so, scenes with Hilty, Davenport and Borle are the most watchable (or perhaps the only watchable) bits and pieces of "Smash."

But the plots are ridiculous, Anjelica Huston isn't doing anything for me, which is depressing, Debra Messing's swampy character and even more awful plot situations bug the heck of me, and Katharine McPhee makes Karen, the rival for the role of Marilyn, pretty much a black hole of charisma, sucking everybody else in so that otherwise adorable actors like Raza Jaffrey, who plays her boyfriend, seem just as dull as Karen. Everybody keeps pounding us over the head with the notion that Karen is a shining star in the making, full of sparkle and charm. Instead, I see the same sulky, smug, listless girl I saw back in February.

Can this "Smash" be saved? Maybe if we consider Season 1its out-of-town tryout, if they revamp the book to tighten up the plot and concentrate on "Bombshell" and its fortunes as opposed to so much off-stage stuff, get rid of the movie star and the Ruby Keeler understudy, clarify Jack Davenport's character as one or the other of Derek's multiple personalities, go with the obvious and make Christian Borle's Tom and Brian d'Arcy James' Frank on-stage performers instead of wasting them as off-stage people, and... Hire somebody who can create a decent arc. Somebody who can write, who has a sense of humor and a sense of camp, somebody who knows musicals and musical performers and isn't constantly cribbing from "Gypsy" and "All About Eve" and "Stage Door" and "42nd Street."

I suppose if Larry Gelbart were still alive, he'd be the go-to guy. And it's really too bad Comden and Green are no longer with us. But I'm thinking Paul Rudnick, David Ives or Harvey Fierstein might be an interesting choice to create a bible and a new direction for this show. Throw a little Lisa Kron or Lin-Manuel Miranda or Greg Kotis in there, and you might just have something. Yeah, I know none of this would work with the brass at NBC. We'll end up with more betrayal, more eavesdropping, more sexy encounters, amnesia and evil twins, family drama, even more people singing craptastic pop songs in bowling alleys and karaoke bars, 90% more Katharine McPhee, 90% less Megan Hilty, and 90% less me.

Right now, the off-stage drama of "Smash" is turning out to be a whole lot more interesting than the off-stage drama surrounding the characters putting on "Bombshell." By that, I mean Rebeck demoted and Rebeck out, Debra Messing ending her marriage and hooking up with her co-star, rumors that Megan Hilty has left her long-time boyfriend (Steve Kazee, who just got a Tony nomination for "Once") and may be dating a Jonas brother, and... Well, that's plenty. And I'd still rather see the on-stage "Bombshell" and the insider info of how a show comes to be.